Peculiar Times

This is a very peculiar time to be alive isn't it? 

I've been getting present to the reality that the way that we used to do life, run a yoga studio, hold classes, and be in community together is no longer how it's going to be.  We all are getting woken up to this and it all hits us at different times in different ways. 

Currently, I'm experiencing a lot of grief as this old way of living is being shed.  I used to turn my cheek to things I didn't want to see and now I'm leaning in to learn more.  I'm not always liking what I see in myself.  The last few days I’ve had a pressure in my chest, lump in my through and stomach pain. When I let myself feel it, I realize I need a good cry. Some days, I want to throw in the towel crawl under the covers and nap all day.  Other times I'm riding the wave with a big smile that is real because I know in my soul that this is what I've been praying for.  

One of my favorite quotes is "your comfort zone ends here."  Truth is, I'm not always down for this.  If I'm training for a race, yes.  If I know I’m right, yes. When it comes to sorting out business, looking at my white supremacy, white fragility, and just all the ways I’ve shown up as an asshole, I want to run away.  Right now, however, there is no where to run to... and so here I sit with my feelings, reflect and listen to what is needed.  

This is where I am.  Where are you?  Have you taken some time to really sit and listen? 

If you aren't used to it, it's uncomfortable...sometimes even ugly and nasty when we see what comes to the surface.  

I know I'm really selling it... but this is how we heal.  

I can't speak for everyone but it seems the overarching current that is rolling in the background for all of us is the need to know.  How do I do this? How long is this going to last? When do we get back to normal? 

Fox News is not the place to look for this answer.  Neither is CNN or Instagram.  Seriously, turn that shit off.

I want nothing more than for someone to tell me what to do, how to move forward, and that it's all going to be okay.  And nobody has the answer. 

When I sit in the grief, the joy, the uncertainty, the anger, the fear, the unknown... the quiet voice inside says "Give it up, Adrienne.  You're doing everything you can.  Trust me. It's going to be okay." 

We don't have an answer.  And that's okay.  Inside each of us is a quiet and soft-spoken certainty.   

Meditating gives me access to this assurance and peace and Truth.  Yoga Practice gives me access to freedom from tension in my body, and the energy and aliveness when I need to move into action.  Reflection gives me possibilities for new paths forward.  This work heals me and I want everyone to experience it.